Grandly un-Indian

India on wheels is getting faster and hotter and it’s action time yet again! A year has zoomed past in no time and though India continues to be the same sore hotbed of swindles and scandals to the media’s delight, here we are with the tracks well laid, grid gals lined up and custom engines fully oiled and roaring. Yes, this is the un-Indian GP where speed meets style, guts get at the gearboxes and reckless rich of a nation swelling with a weekend’s pride catch up for garden picnic, serious business and Formula 1 racing. So if you’re a race maniac, worship speed, crave for and then love to forget unfamiliar but beautiful company, bright urban sunshine and were rich enough to buy those flashy race tickets then Buddh International Circuit is the place you must be October 28 because the Indian GP is back.

On racing counts, this time there is better competition in the leaderboards - unlike last year when it was a Sebastian Vettel show the season throughout, a dominant run that decided the individual and team championships even before the Indian GP started! Vettel has his zip back and leads Fernando Alonso by six points in defence of his world crown and the neck-to-neck race between the two prospective 2014 teammates for Ferrari would attract many experts.

Generally the battle between the sixth and seventh teams in the constructors’ list interest none save the units involved, but with Sahara Force India principal Vijay Mallya, and also his warhorses, being vociferous about overtaking Sauber, who incidentally have the Dehra Dun-born Monisha Kaltenborn at the helm now, for the sixth position and a well-paid media promoting the whole issue, the fight will not go unnoticed. Add to it the recent performances of Nico Hulkenberg, and some time back of Paul di Resta, then Force India would have more than just one reason to hit the podium at the ‘ideal home race’.

The race would also suit the VJM05. As Hulkenberg, who most probably would have his good times with Sauber next year, put it: “The races coming up (read races in India, Abu Dhabi, Austin and Sao Paulo) should suit us quite well, especially somewhere like Abu Dhabi with long straights and slow corners. Those are the sort of corners where our car has looked quite strong so far.”

The BIC comes with subtle modifications this time, the kerbs have got longer to avoid any shortcut return to the ‘main course’ and hence Felipe Massa can breathe easy (you must remember how he crashed on kerb eight last time and then called for a change). This new ‘sausagy’ look along with greener surroundings –some say one lakh saplings have been planted, only planted- better parking facilities, the Yamuna Expressway being opened, chartered buses and lot more mean a sell out crowd, some grand Indian racing ‘phoren istyle’ and a gala success yet again.

Hence, by the evening of October 28, the all-knowing honest Indian Inc. –the torchbearers of a ‘going to the dogs new India’- would have completed another lap towards making their presence felt and also an octogenarian Bernie Ecclestone richer- maybe he should now pen a will before it’s too late. And whichever way Formula1 in India goes, for the fastest Indian is still slowest in the world, the carnival will come back pretty soon!

Enchanted by chance

I am a journalist by chance, and it’s no surprise, because throughout, the courses my life have been decided more by chance than by choice. And no matter how much I want to avoid it, chance always tricks me by chance! Now it is one of these chanceful occasions of my life that I think is worth penning down.
Earlier this week, an AFC-AIFF team visited our local cricket stadium here. Now as with small towns like Cuttack, our association here was too overwhelmed to welcome their uparwalas. People ran helter-skelter, all were advised not to chew gutkha- and spit- when the big men were around, three big cars were suitably arranged for four people, not to speak of the lunch ordered that would serve at least two football teams. Nonetheless, ‘covering’ their inspection of the Barabati Stadium was an experience of a lifetime.
(See I am a person who is a proud rider an n-th hand two-stroke bike, that at times can fly like a seagull and also sleep like a snail, so for me every special moment has to be a lifetime and if that sounds frivolous so be it.)
Anyway, as with all our associations in India, the media persons were instructed to keep away from the visiting delegation and so did all except one -and by now you must have guessed that the better-than-Tintin-reporter is me! So I, having visited the barber the day before, very pompously joined the party that was inspecting every nook and corner of the stadium. And wow, what a place it is!
I have never seen the insides of a players’ dressing room before, not even of the VVIP and corporate boxes. My seven-month stint in Kolkata with The Statesman just before the 2011 World Cup allowed me to have a peek at the unfinished changing rooms at the Eden Gardens, but a fully functional locker room evoked only one feeling – I wish I were a cricketer man! Letting the delegation go on with its work, I sat on a sofa –leather-finished mind you- and also adjusted my looks standing in front of a huge mirror. My sheer childlike mannerisms embarrassed me, but who knows when the next time comes? At least for a few seconds I rolled in a sofa on which sat some great cricketers!
So thus went on my odyssey and the hangover was still there after I had filed a 500-word thrash. I had such an odd feeling and everything I saw around seemed appealing. Very much like your new crush at school or college where even if the girl says Keats was a Victorian poet you readily question Edward Albert’s sanity. (Now there’s no misogyny involved and I am a great fan of JK Rowling and Emile Bronte.) So very much in that aesthetically blessed state I stepped out of the stadium for refreshments.
Now our Barabati has a peculiar charm, at least I felt that way then. Outside it you have a gathering of vendors who would be selling you indigenously cooked ‘phoren’ dishes. If you are a connoisseur of roadside food, then, it is the place you ought to be. By the banks of the Mahanadi, for the river is a few paces away from the stadium, you can have a very sumptuous evening if you have 20 rupees in your pocket - provided a sandwich, a poached egg and a tea are all you want.
The cool river breeze then calls you and a lonely walk by the solitary banks of the Mahanadi takes you into a reverie. The black shining water, a silent dark sky, those passing clouds and an occasional star leave you in a daze and you wonder and wonder and wonder until the cell phone rings and your boss shouts, “Why didn’t you interview any of the AFC officials? I am sure they were not happy with the ground!”

C’mon man!

So the government and the media have done it again! Once again the skeletons tumbled out of the closet but somewhere in the store that rat had nibbled out the cork leaving the red wine flow unappreciated and hence the whole household, with that nonexistent cat, is running after it.

Congratulations to the giants of the game for taking away all the focus from a nation-wide cross generational endemic, affectionately called corruption, by talking intellectual nonsense about petro prices and FDI in retail. Thank you my enlightened brethren who have made the white world their home, my dear formidable NRI role models, all graduates from posh B-schools whose fees my hardworking and honest father could not afford, for talking absolute ‘sense’ about the degraded Indian economy which indeed is like the famished African refusing to sell oil for food. Thanks for reiterating ‘enough is enough, let’s not talk of corruption and the coal scam because the Indian economy is in dire straits’ so as to debate the new-generation Big Bang that would conjure a new world where some of my privileged, and intellectually blessed, friends would rule.

Now somewhere in all this formidable discussion figuring jargons and graphs and numbers and dollar bills and debt crisis and crude prices and what not, I – the average ‘common man’ who earns say just over 20,000 per month and follows all these matters of grave interest with great enthusiasm with the honest intention to understand, if not participate, the process of running an economy- am getting lost.

Can anyone tell me how would the Indian economy post this Big Bang benefit me? You see I am a ‘common man’ – a term that the Indian political ‘class’ and the media at its service have coined.

If at all words can depict social psychology through binary, then this term – ‘common man’ or ‘aam aadmi’- says a lot about how our politicians think. We are ‘common’, we are the ordinary. Hence, we should have to bear the burden of unemployment, of the ravaged economy, of inflation, of a quarterly rise in petro prices, of crammed rail coaches, of bribery to get a passport processed, of power cuts, of traffic jams while a convoy is passing. Vis-à-vis are the people who don’t come under this definition ‘common man’. I mean the politicians, the business houses that run governments and the well-paid national media.

Let me elaborate. All our netas would say this would harm the common man, that was a betrayal of the common man’s trust, these are what the common man does not want… Have they ever made a statement where they are a part of this common man’s class? They are special. Aren’t they? So MPs get free diesel, ride imported cars, own mines and businesses yet get subsidized delicacies at the parliament canteen, have free homes in the national capital where there is uninterrupted power supply, travel free with no queues for tickets and many more. Please don’t forfeit these. After all we have voted you to and for privilege/s. Take them, but don’t talk such rubbish about the economy because you very well know that the money lost in these innumerable and shameless scams and those dollars deposited overseas could have done turned all your promises and planning to reality.

But why aren’t there any efforts netaji?

Ah c’mon man! Try to understand.

Made for more

He came, he saw, he lost, and then he fought and finally conquered.

This one sentence could well surmise -for those with little, but not dangerous, knowledge of history and modern day tennis- the trials and travails of tennis’ ‘ex-choker’ Andy Murray.

Till that Monday night in New York, Murray resembled a long distance runner who, having led the entire race pulls a hamstring paces ahead of the finish line. The Scot had reached four Grand Slam finals but ended them on a tearful note going back home with the runner-up trophy. So regular had been this episode that the inevitable tag of being a ‘choker’ was becoming an unfair reality. But a marathon final has now altered equations and Murray can start with renewed vigour having won the Olympic gold and his first Major.

Given his credentials Murray is not a one-Slam man. History is replete with surprise winners of one Major- players, who like a stray lightening on an otherwise calm and breezy day, surprise us by their sudden emergence and disappearance. Murray has always been an out an out champion’s material. He is not just a lucky survivor, but the fierce fighter destined to rule. To elaborate Murray is a potential No. 1 and good enough to win a bagful of Grand Slams. This is no mere fancy because the golden era Murray has been part of is bound to see a change of guard very soon.

The larger than life Roger Federer is slowing down his perfection giving way to unforced errors, even though on any given day he is the bookmaker’s favourite. Rafael Nadal’s knee is taking the toll and given his style of play his agility on the baseline can be affected. So out of the big four, Murray and Novak Djokovic could start a new rivalry, one that can even rival that between Federer and Nadal.

In this context, Murray’s win at the Flushing Meadows and breaking the Grand Slam drought were necessary to get the proverbial monkey off his back. But this is no time to relax either and Murray’s unit knows it best. His coach, the legendary Ivan Lendl, has already chalked out plans to take Murray to the top and given the shelf life of a tennis player’s prime the Scot does not have the time which Federer, Nadal or Djokovic have had. By 25, that is Murray’s age, Nadal had won 10 Grand Slams (he won his first in Paris as a 19-year-old), Federer had nine Majors (starting with the Wimbledon as a 22-year-old) and Djokovic, 25 now, has five (he tasted Slam success in Melbourne four years back). So in sheer numbers, since they at times are a measure of greatness, Murray is way behind.

Nonetheless that does not dampen the spirit either and as Britain’s son of the moment looks ahead he can at least do so singing heartily, “Say goodbye to the world you thought you live in.”

Why the BCCI should say a yes

So what’s new? Unfortunately nothing! The Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) has yet again repeated its reservation in using the Umpire Decision Referral System (UDRS) for the Test series that gets underway this English summer. A move which has made world number two bowler Graeme Swann slam the BCCI as taking immature decisions being based on ‘kidology’. Nevertheless he has made a point when he noted that the Indian cricket board should have tried out the UDRS for India could well have got lucky as the Poms had when in Brisbane last year they were all chips down and suddenly Alastair Cook got a reprieve, thanks to an astute Andrew Strauss, and scored a double-century to take England to 500-plus in the second innings.
But the Indian contingent is unlikely to be wooed. The skipper himself has been very critical of the UDRS and more so after Ian Bell got lucky during the World Cup. After the tied match in Bangalore an irritated Dhoni had fumed: “Adulteration is quite bad, whether it is natural or with technology. I think the adulteration of technology with human intention was the reason why we didn't get that wicket. Hopefully next time, it will be either technology or human intention.” And the legend Sachin Tendulkar has been vocal in this opposition on more than one occasions. “You have to find something that is close to 100 per cent. There were occasions in the past where we were not convinced at all. I thought the lines were not correct and that's my personal opinion,” Tendulkar had remarked perhaps reminiscing the 2008 tour of Sri Lanka where the Islanders had got 11 decisions in their favour and India only one.
Though times have changed, Team India is quite comfortable in basking in its disbelief, and to some extent disgust, over the UDRS, sitting pretty even after bitter sweet experiences last year at Mohali when a few blunders went against them. Nonetheless, the Indians draw heart from the fact that it won the opening thriller courtesy some courageous batting by the ever dependable VVS Laxman and some poor umpiring that prevented the last stave Pragyan Ojha from being knocked off. These though are not a redeeming factor for the BCCI has its own secret logic in never budging up for the ‘controversial’ UDRS. The very contention of having a ‘fool proof’ technology is highly contentious and this alone cannot overrule the facts that the UDRS has favoured teams that once felt swindled after a bad outing in the field and has reduced animosity between belligerent sides to a considerable extent. And given the nature of the series India would play in England, where the top two teams would fight to ratify their supremacy in the five-day format, it will not be surprising to see some fiery words being exchanged if some poor umpiring is seen.
“Anything that reduces the errors in the game will minimize tensions between teams and should be encouraged,” Sunil Gavaskar had written last winter in favour of the UDRS. Though the former India captain is not himself comfortable in challenging the umpires, yet he feels the provision should be considered as it would serve the cause. “Personally, I am not in favour of players challenging the umpires’ decisions but feel that it would be better for the on-field umpires to check with their colleague sitting in front of the TV for any decision about which they have doubts in their mind.” Animosity though may not bother the world’s richest cricket board for seldom has any Test playing nation risked it wrath. Recently Sri Lanka tried to tighten the screws but got tamed instead. However, the BCCI top brass need to understand that the UDRS does a lot of good to the game even though it is not technically ‘fool proof’, especially in the longer version of the game which is still grappling for survival after the T20 boom. With technology changing the course of a game well nigh a draw, the UDRS can also be seen as a boon for Test matches which the newer and impatient generation of cricket lovers has come to see as dull and monotonous.

to whomsoever it may concern

will my kiss fade into the twilight,
my dreams sleigh on frail snow?

you've never known who am i to you
just a face in the virtual space,
eager to sneak into your privacy
yes, just another contact in your phone book never reckoned
and if like a pop-up i infringe, you minimize me,
you can't cross me out, i know that
for the risk of a malware, or even an unwanted information.
baffled at the strange emoticons at your disposal
i have been there whole night- the green button saying ' i am available'
or some silly stupid status to initiate a love-tale
and when the grey letters flash saying you're typing, my heart leaps into filthy conclusions.
all in vain, for like your flesh you too are deceitful, tactical
always ignoring with a smile.

hence unhappy the impatient hunter leaves his game,
tracing the trail of yet another.

Ode to slavery , Canto II

And then the divine orders came
write oh slave of glory and fame!
Thus this Coleridge drank some rum
Muse be thine sanctum sanctorum!
Short point became that magnum-opus,
Playing a game in hocus-pocus
Of many a tale thus spake I
Mailing the whole I heaved a sigh!
Though unread back it came
Headline is too long was the claim!
But I never doubt his judgment
He who nods off my payment.
Thus I kept following in sleep and walk
What wrote Jennings Brenkeley and Roebuck!
And at time came Ogden Nash
Livening the writing that is trash!
But i confess now today
A by-line i get each Sunday!
This oh master is more to me
Still pay in time would better be !